all images © Meghan Boyer Photography

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Naked. Searching for Pee.

I get out of the shower this morning and discover a fully loaded princess pull up next to the tub. An offering.  From the potty gods.  Is this a sign, I ask?   I wander about the house.  Aimlessly searching for something.  While naked.  I discover another discarded pull up.  It's like a scavenger hunt.  For pee.  I wonder what I will win in the end?  The opportunity to get dressed?   Everyone in our cul-de-sac is home during the day.  I'm sure they take pictures.  Then I see Grady with a pop in his mouth.  His find after dismantling child locks.  I throw it away, and go put clothes on.  Barely two articles of clothing later, I find Grady with two more pops in his mouth.   He tells me, "I don't have nothin'."  He is very sneaky.  I notice three pop wrappers...squished underneath yet another pull up.

Seriously. A peeing bandit.  In my house.  This is crazy. I tell Lil and Grady they have five seconds to come clean about the pull ups.  Lil admits to the pee fest.   She says Grady told her to do it. Both are banned from candy for the rest of the day.   I know it's hard for Lillian to be the oldest.  Having her brothers get more attention sometimes.  She gets the same candy that Grady does for using the potty.  But not today.  It was a banned candy day.  Grady has been doing well with his new found friend swallowerofallthingsgrossandsometimestoystoo.   He still went today, for high fives, not Skittles.  He says he is quite excited about the fact that one day, his butt will be as big as mommy's.  Then he won't have to worry so much about falling in.  He does that sometimes too.  On purpose.  Just dips his butt in a little bit.  You know, to clean it off.  Don't you feel stupid for never thinking of that?

Lillian is a paci bandit too.  She tries to steal Grady's.  She called him upstairs the other day.  "Grade, can I talk to you a minute?"  She yelled down the hall.  "We need to have a compromise."  She offers him a 'pass to her palace' for a paci.  I can't wait for that paci pirate to come.  Today, Grady told me the paci pirate could have his yellow one, he'll just keep the green one.

By the end of the night I'm ready for their mom to come home.  I wonder how much I'll get paid for tonight.  Lillian bounces on the couch, "We are trouble kids."  She giggles.  I am in troubleGiggle.

All peed out.

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  1. I hope you get paid well. I keep waiting for my baby momma to come home and she hasn't shown up in...forever...I must be a live in nanny, and no one told me. maybe you'll have better luck :)

  2. and the cook here is no good, we need new jobs.