all images © Meghan Boyer Photography

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

I'm Not Mom Enough and Lil Sucks Too

My small, spunky, sassy, newly minted five year old is a derelict dictator.  Bossing her brothers, taking charge of her parents, and spouting off propaganda.  Lillian's pop pop taught her to say "Yankees suck, yes they do!"  I've explained to pop pop (not that he listens) and to Lillian (not that she listens), that she is not to use the word sucks in any form.  Today, when Finn tried to bolt out the front door (hey, if you lived here you'd try to escape too), Lillian said, "That sucks like a tornado."  Don't get smart with me sister.  Similies suck. 

When in doubt, shout it out.  Finn plotting her escape.


My sister Emma gave birth to her first baby on Saturday, her actual due date and the same day as Lil's Chuck E. Cheese birthday party.  That morning, Emma's water broke.  I told Lillian that Piper was coming.  She said, "Where?  To Chuck E. Cheese?"  Because honestly, where else would Piper want to be on her first day of life?  We went to see Piper last night.  Lil supervised the breastfeeding.  She instructed Emma to stick Piper back up there since she was still crying.  Because you know, Lil is the breastfeeding expert.  She sucked boob herself, her brother's are reformed suckers, and her baby dolls suck too.  She'd probably still be sucking, but you know, I'm not mom enough.  I suck.  Plus, she's nearly old enough to suck down a beer, being five and all.  Why suck warm milk?

See...she's sort of spooky here, very dictator like. Suck Piper, suck.

I load both boys into the van this morning, Lil is supposed to be getting herself buckled, and I am in the house looking for my mind clothes.  I walk out the front door, fully clothed, and see Grady running through the cul-de-sac with a plastic produce bag suctioned over his head.  Lillian is doing sprints with my book bag conjuring up more similies using the word suck.   I reprimand the dictator for setting her brother loose from his carseat.  She says she is a big jerk for not listening.  Nah, not a big jerk.  You just suck.

Hello. We are the Barnum family and we suck.

If you say we suck again, you'll be sucking down some Sriracha!


2 comments:

  1. Hysterical. You are the coolest sucky family I know :)

    ReplyDelete