Our basement is full of all sorts of creatures, the triple threat being the largest three. They were almost dethroned. It was a Spider. With a capital S, because it was that big. I am in the bathroom when Grady calls for me. He found a bug. I don't look right away. I glance out to see Demps running after Spider. Trying to pick him up with his newly acquired pincher grasp. I tackle Dempsey and throw a plastic frying pan over Spider. I bolt to various corners of the basement trying to decide what the hell to do next. Not really sure why I thought the bolting might help. I'm pretty sure it's a Black Widow and we're all going to die. Maybe we should run.
I can't squish it. Too messy. I slip a paper plate underneath it, switch the plastic frying pan with another plate, tape plates together, place into garbage bag, and tie up garbage bag. When I get up the courage, I release Spider. On the neighbors side of the lawn of course.
|Our fourth child|
The triple threat love their bugs. Somehow I got talked into providing shelter to a slug and a few caterpillars. Lillian and Grady kept them in their room. I made the mistake of giving them each a plastic sippy cup to house them it. Poor Dempsey just kept trying to take a sip. The caterpillars actually got stuck living on top of another big dead bug from a few months ago. Dead bug got dumped into the sippy cup from the actual bug house. Maybe to keep those caterpillars company. Lil said they couldn't be left alone. I got stuck babysitting and cleaning up their poop. The morning after they moved in, Lil brought the cups down to the kitchen. "Mom, is that poop? Or is that his babies?" She shoves slug in my face. Great, we have a male slug makin' babies. I'm the only baby maker in this house dammit! But of course, it wasn't babies, it was poop. Really. Should I be surprised? Why not? This house is full of rampant poopers. Why shouldn't the newest family members crap all over the place too? That's what mom is for. I still can't believe I did this. But I did. I got out a tissue. And wiped all the slug poop from his house.
Later that night, Sean and I had a very important parental discussion after the children were in bed. We decided to release the slug and caterpillars. Into the neighbor's yard of course. When Lil and Grady woke up in the morning, I just told them that Dempsey ate em'.
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