All They Can Prove is I Had His Babies

The entire time the nurse was casting Grady's foot I knew it was just the beginning.  We were lucky.  I can't believe he made it this far.  I was right.  I'm always right.  I'm the mom, I know these things.  Preventing Grady from jumping off of furniture is like going to the bathroom without someone watching.  It's not gonna happen woman.  So I give up.  Grady still jumps and I stopped going to the bathroom. 

We are not even half way through our cast stint, and yet last night I found myself packing bags for the emergency room.  Grady started on the top bunk and ended on the floor.  I still don't know if it was a fall, a jump, or a dive.  What I do know is that he split the back of his head open.  On a toy, or maybe a drawer.  See... so many variables.   At first glance, I think stitches.  I sigh and sulk up the stairs to change out of my pajamas.  Sean tries to stop the bleeding while practicing for National Cursing Day.  Sean only has himself to blame.  Karma is a bitch.  He was a broken, bloody mess as a kid.    Somehow his mother survived.  And we will too.  What I don't understand...is why I have to suffer for Sean's naughtiness when all I'm guilty of is thinking he's cute and having his babies. 

As the golf ball on the back of Grady's head concedes to the frozen bag of corn kernals,  we get a closer look.  The wound isn't gaping nearly as much now.  It will heal eventually.  It's nothing a little Elmer's Glue can't fix.   Sean and I make the executive decision that stitches are not neccesary.  It's so fun to be executives!  Let's do that again! 

See!  I fixed him right up...can't even tell anything happened right?

This morning, to make everything better, we go to a  birthday party at Chuck-e-Cheese.  The benenfit of a Thursday morning birthday party at Chuck's place?  We are the only birthday party there.  Makes chasing the triple threat too easy.  At one point I look over at Grady and he has a double fistful of game tokens.  Where did those come from?  I spy on him for a few minutes.  He squats down in front of the Skee Ball machine, sticks out his pointer finger, hooks it into a hole, and pulls open a drawer.  One that's supposed to be locked and securing Chuck's gold mine.  Grady is stealing Mr. Cheese's tokens.  At least it's not Vegas.  Can I get in trouble for this?  I pretend like I don't know what's going on.   It's not hard.  I practice it every day.

When it's time to eat, Lil sits with her friends, Grady is riding the horse like a bull, and I seat Demspey far, far away from the general population.  He throws food.  Really far.  Soon enough I'm covered in lemonade, pizza, and cupcake.  Maybe it's time to go.  This is really super fun and all, but I need to go shave my head now.  We stop in the bathroom before heading out.  And just when I think I can't get any cuter, Grady looks right at my crotch and says, "You have big vagina."  Thanks.

Souvenirs...just so I don't forget the day I learned I have a big vagina.

And if you think big vaginas are funny....vote for me!