all images © Meghan Boyer Photography

Friday, February 3, 2012

Underwear, Teether. Toilet Wand, Sword.

Dempsey's molars are coming in.  Actually two have already arrived.  We produce very advanced children.  In the past, his chosen teethers were socks.  Now he's taken to Lillian's underwear.  Clean...I can deal with it.  Dirty...grossy.  Lil and Grady were in the backyard and Lil had stripped from the waist down to pee.  Yes, in the backyard.  Better than when she used to poop in the front yard.  Mirror mirror on the wall, I'm like my mother after all...I must admit I've done it myself.  Not poop...pee.  And not in the front yard...the back.  Okay, so that doesn't make it better.  What can I say?  Sometimes it's just easier.   At least I don't take it all off.  She carried her clothes back into the house to change, leaving pee soaked underwear on the floor.  Apparently the sand box was too intriguing and the pee just started flowing.  By the time we all came back in, dinner was calling and I forgot about the underwear.  Dempsey found it.  And chewed it.  Right after he pulled the toilet paper from the toilet that Lil forgot to flush.  I know, I know.  You're probably throwing up a little right now.  Okay, a lot.  But that's why this blog is called Three Under Five and Still Alive.  You thought I was referring to myself all this time?  No, I'm talking about the children. 


This looks like a good spot

Lillian has always had a bad habit of leaving her underwear everywhere.  We never potty trained with Lil.  I avoided it.  One morning, a month before she turned three, Lil woke up and decided she would go on the potty and wear underpants.  Shortly thereafter it was Easter.  We arrived at my aunt and uncle's house and the first thing she did was climb out of the van and pee right next to it.  Later that day my Uncle Jimmy found Lillian's discarded underwear on his bathroom floor.  She pooped in their backyard too.  Free fertilizer.  Happy Easter!  She changes more times a day than she can count.  And she can count to thirty.  Skipping seventeen and eighteen.  Perfect.  If only she left out thirteen through sixteen as well.  Even the underwear changes.  We find it everywhere.

Lillian perfecting her squat at almost three years old

Just hours before the underwear drop off
Everything at our house seems to have a dual purpose.  Underwear, teether.  Clorox toilet wand, sword.  Try getting jabbed at with that thing.  Couch, trampoline.  Bunkbeds, catapault.  Foosball table, stage.  Sink, swimming pool.  Toilet, carwash.  Beer, water.

As you can see, we are a very green family.  Reuse, recycle, reinvent.  Team Barnum.  You wanna join?  Drop your drawers at the front door.


  1. Koda dropped a duce one day in our front yard shortly after she learned to go potty...I was laughing so hard I didn't know what to do...just watched laughing and let it happen. At least they can right :) thanks for the laugh tonight!

    1. Hey, you are least it's not in a diaper!

  2. Replies
    1. Thank you! I figure you can't go wrong with pee and poop stories....Sometimes I feel like that's all I ever talk about! It consumes me!

  3. it! It's good to be green :)

  4. Very funny blog! And your kids are cuter than a basket full of it!

    1. Thank you Tracie, they keep me giggling AND gagging!

  5. 4 words....Lord of the Flies.
    You do rear some feral and wild children.