all images © Meghan Boyer Photography

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Dirty Birdies

I'm running the nightly bath all the while thinking....bathing is way overrated.  Those dirty birdies are just going to be filthy again the minute their feet hit dry ground, so what's the point?  I sort of remember the pediatrician telling me it dries out their skin to bathe everyday anyway.  Maybe that was for a newborn.  Newborn, schmuborn.  Isn't the term "newborn" relative anyway.  If I was one hundred years old and you were four...I would consider you "new born".   I really should be paying better attention at these well child visits instead of being so preoccupied with what naughty mommy habit Lillian is going to blurt out at any given moment.   Earning me a big, fat frown from my children's doctor, and possibly jeopordizing my mommy of the year award.   Oh darn. 

On this particular night after Lil and Grady jump Geronimo style into the tub,  I run to make sure Dempsey isn't biting off the outlet covers again. (I swear I only left the bathroom for one nanosecond...bye bye award).   Before even one bucket of water is dumped on the floor I hear Lillian say "Sniff my butt Grady!"  Bath time just got interesting.  I look in and what do you know...he's actually doing it.  Lillian is sticking her butt out, laughing so hard she cries.  Grady is leaning in, making big exaggerated sniffing sounds.  He's laughing too.  Great.  I hope the child psychologist has People in the waiting room.

FINN!  Your babysitting days are OVER!  You have set a terrible example!  We've been way over paying you anyway... you're going to have to find a new way to fund your pig ear habit.

This is just terrible. What a mean sister.  She could have at least washed her butt before she made her poor, defenseless, innocent baby brother smell it.  Grady!  Really?  Haven't we taught you better?  She's crazy!  Don't do anything she tells you!  And Lillian!  Keep your stinky butt to yourself!   

Moral of the story.  Don't be a dirty birdie butt sniffer.

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