Tonight, as I was sitting at the dining room table, I heard our front, storm door open. Thinking it was Sean, I got up and opened the door. I saw a 5th grade boy with his dad, and his dog. They were handing out fliers for movie night in the other cul-de-sac. I happened to be bra less, as usual... not much work for a bra to do here...thanks milk sucking babies. My top half was adorned in a see through wife beater... just trying to fit in. My shorts, sort of covering my bottom half, were only appropriate for sleeping. The dad asked how old the kids were. I had to think about it. I remembered. He asked me if I was the babysitter. I should have said yes. And blamed my inappropriate attire on Miss Rachael. Sorry Miss Rachael. But I didn't. I took the compliment. I think he might have had a slutty mom cam. I probably snagged the starring role on his facebook status tonight. Damn facebook.
Lillian was home from school today. With a fever. I can't even say she was sick. She ran around like just like it was any other day. But I'm a rule follower. Fever = no school. I was just happy I didn't have to go to the bus stop. Who knows what sort of wardrobe malfunction may have occured.
We went to Michael's craft store this afternoon. The place is so filthy I didn't feel bad about spreading Lil's germs. I peed there too. I had changed shirts by this time. I'd chosen one that was much easier to distinguish inside out, from right side in, and backwards from forwards. Customers were just happy to see that I was wearing a bra and had on acceptable bottoms. No slutty mom material here folks. Please move on. And don't mind the sick kid testing out all the star shaped lollipops on abnormally long sticks. You really shouldn't be buying those for your children anyway. They'd look inappropriate sucking on them.
On the way to Michael's, I told the kids we were buying crafts for Lillian's religion class at church. The following conversation is just an example of what happens daily in our lives. No one truely understand what the hell the other person is saying. Ever.
Lil Crafts? For my class? I love crafts!
Grady We're getting CRABS? I love crabs!
Lil No Grady, CRAFTS!
Grady Yeah! Crabs! I'm hungry. We eat them in the store?
Lil Grady, You can not have crabs!
Grady Mooom! Lil said I can't have any crabs!
Lil Grady, it's for my class!
Grady For your CRAFTS? Why do you get crafts? I want to do crafts!
Dempsey Mom. You have no class.
Mom Shut up Dempsey
Okay, so Dempsey and I really didn't take part in the conversation. But I'm sure he was thinking that. He screamed all sorts of things at me while in Michael's . We left the store with no crafts, no crabs, and no class. Obviously.
|Lillian declared "I'm only going to be eating liquids today since my throat hurts and chocolate is a liquid."|
|A fellow customer exclaimed "Wow, ice cream at 9:30am." As she checked her watch... and purchased a dozen donuts.|
|The sugar kicked in. Lil told me she wanted to "scare some people up" in Rite Aid.|