Three Under Five and Still Alive: Mitt Supports Wearing Your Pajamas

It's happened again. I hid something from the children only to find I've actually hidden it from myself. This time it's something I desperately need in two days. Everyone else on the East Coast will need one too. Which is why the stores are hiding them too. At least this is what I believe. I think Target employees have a great sense of humor. I think they've removed all of the water, flashlights, lanterns, and batteries from the store shelves and replaced them with...wait for it... hidden cameras. Then the employees hide in the back room and giggle at the panic stricken faces as crazed customers realize that everything.is.gone. Including their own sense of decency as they swat at babies and old ladies diving for the last package of C batteries. A's are better anyway.

I tried to hide behind Grady at the bus stop this morning. It didn't work. He's very small. And he moves around too much. It was pajama day at Lil's school. All the kids at the bus stop had on their pajamas. Grady told the other parents that his mommy and daddy don't wear pajamas. Not that this was news to anyone. How the hell else would you produce three babies in three and a half years? I told you A's work better. Someone buy these people some freakin' pajamas! Apparently there's a new tax break coming for those who promise to wear pajamas to bed. I can't believe we never thought of it ourselves. Control your births. Wear pajamas.

Lillian and Dempsey have the stinkiest feet in the family. When Dempsey kicks off his shoes in the van, I smell it before I hear the shoes hit the floor and I hide when it's time for Lillian to get her socks and shoes on. Which is why, earlier this week, Lil set off to the bus stop with Grady's socks that read, boys rule. We had a sock swap at the street corner. She didn't get why I made her switch that day. Or why today, I was so excited that she was wearing pajamas. I will make sure she gets that tax break well into her 30's.

Oh Sandy. You wet, wild, make us tremble, kind of woman. Stop letting those Target employees have so much fun at work. They already have a J.O.B. don't let them have fun too. And put on some PJ's please. Mitt will thank you. As for me? I'm in hiding.