I, Lisa Barnum (near perfect mommy), do hereby declare it a parent's right to rename their child as they see fit. Because I don't know about you, but frankly my dears, I'm quite tired of saying the same name over and over and over again. That's why I call them by the name I used the least that day. Or I just call them Finn.
You know how parents test out baby names? Maybe you say the full name outloud, shout it, cheer it, sing it softly in a lullaby or try out possible nicknames? My suggestion is to repeat that name one thousand, nine hundred, and seventy eight times in a twenty four hour period. Then decide if you'd rather have your mouth wired shut than to ever say that name ever again.
The day started out crazy. Should I expect any less you wonder? No. I repeat each of their names too many times, more times than I care to remember, before we even leave the house. Strike one... Lil and Grady did not have school today. Strike two...it was parent/teacher conferences for Lillian's four year old preschool class. Strike three...I had to bring the triple threat with me. Lillian's teacher shows me a self portrait that Lillian drew in September compared to one she made in January. September's picture is a big, fat head with a face. And everything you'd expect to find on a face. But still...just a big, fat head. Very similar to Mrs. Potato Head, except with a sticker on her cheek. Quite advanced if you were to ask me. But really, no one asked me. January's drawing includes arms, legs, and other appropriate body parts. Apparently this is good. Significant progress. She will be able to attend preschool graduation. Oh, and how could I forget. In January's drawing, Lillian's baby sister 'Molly' is by her side. Much to Sean's chagrin. I nearly choke on my tic tac (used to cover my coffee breath). Going.
On the drive to the toy store (bribe) Lillian told me that now she has a baby sister and two brothers to take care of. "And you're the mommy to all of us...okay?" she asks. She says she has to give 'Molly' a bottle instead of nursing her because she doesn't have big ones (she points to my boobs) like me. Hmmm...I've never quite received a compliment like that. A little bizarre...but I'll take it. Apparently 'Molly' is the kind of baby that doesn't bite either, she informs me. Not like Dempsey. Going
Do you ever repeat the same word over and over again until it starts to sound funny and loses it's meaning? Oh, you don't do that? That's only me? I must have too much free time on my hands. Like when I say the word 'crazy' too many times. It starts to sound like 'Lisa.' That's how I felt today. Lillian became 'losing,' Grady sounded like 'my,' and Dempsey like 'mind.' Yes...losing my mind. Gone.
It's finally bedtime except Lillian's beloved pig is missing. We spend what seems like forever looking for it. Until we find it on the couch...under Sean's butt.
Now I have officially lost my mind. However, I may be smarter for having lost it. But frankly my dears, I don't give a damn.