Three Under Five and Still Alive: Red Ones, Blue Ones, Small Ones, Big Ones

Grady has a crazy obsession with vehicles. I'm thankful that he is not prejudice. He adores cars, minivans, pick up trucks and SUV's. Red ones, blue ones, small ones, big ones, old ones, and new ones. If it is left unlocked, it's an open invitation. If it is locked, he holds onto the handle, climbs up the door, braces his feet against the vehicle and tries to pull the door open with his 28 pounds of body weight. Everyone in our neighborhood locks their vehicles.

Mr. Ray pulled in front of his house yesterday and turned off the ignition. Grady tossed his bike aside, bolted across the cul-de-sac, and climbed up the door, and into the driver's side window of Mr. Ray's F-150. Grady is not shy. Just in case you needed some insight into his personality.

We used to allow Grady to play in Sean's car, ignition off, windows down, for short periods of supervised time. Disclaimer: This decision was supported by a trained professional. Car play was mostly used as a reward, especially during potty training. Lil and Grady would fly in and out of the house. Taking umbrellas, blankees, milk cups, and assorted other valuables out to the car. Then Finn would fly out. She's not one to snub an open door. Lillian always sets off to find her. She knows exactly where she goes. To the neighbor that leaves out the bagels and bread for ~~Finn~~ the birds. Lil always comes running back, Finn trailing, and throwing a days old bagel onto our dining room floor. "Here Finn, this is for coming back." Lil congratulates her.

One day, during car play, I walked out to find Lillian and Grady on top of the car. I scolded them...after I took a picture.

The next day I ~~hosed off~~ took a shower. When I got out, I asked Lillian what Grady was doing. She told me he was downstairs watching a show. Her voice sounded odd, and her eyes were darting from side to side. This was a cover up. She proceeded to tell me that she was going back downstairs "to make sure Grady is still watching his show." I'm still naked as I glance out our bedroom window. Grady is in the car. The car is running. I run. Outside. After I put clothes on. Grady is sitting at the steering wheel, keys in the ignition.

We are not careless parents. We hide all keys. We hide them so well, we can't find them. The hiding places change often, as Grady figures them out. This particular time, he had climbed on top of the stove, got into the cabinet, retrieved the correct keys, and then unlocked the dead bolted front door. He unlocked the car, got behind the wheel, stuck the key in the ignition, and turned. Car play is over. My life is over. If I run, will someone come find me and give me a ~~beer~~ bagel?