Free Balls

We have a sleigh bed.  The kids think it's theirs.  Really it's mine.  Okay, and Sean's too.   Lil and Grady stand on the top of the foot board, jump off, and try to catch the hanging strand that turns on the ceiling fan. They also enjoy climbing onto the window ledges behind said bed, and swan diving onto our down comforter.  Last Friday night, around nine, the entertainment was in full swing.   In the end, Grady hurt his foot. He pointed to the same bone he broke back in March.  Oh good.  Because I really need some drama in my life.

The following is the text conversation, in italics, between me and my friend Amanda.  There was a wedding, we were both attending, the following night.  You will also see my own personal commentary.  Because I am always talking to myself in my head. 

Me:  Seriously. I think Grady may have just broken the same foot as before :(  Jumping off the bed :(  I see visions of myself in the emergency room tomorrow morning, wearing a dress :( 

Amanda:  Do you want me to come over so you can take him now :)  Um how about you come over, we lock the kids in the bedroom and drink tequila while we talk about people.  Don't bring yours.  Your kids I mean.  Definitely bring your tequila. 

Me:  I think I'll wait.  He can walk on it :) Just walks funny and is pointing to the same spot as before :(  He is walking like a penguin.  But if I tilt my head slightly downwards and to the right, while I walk sideways next to him,  his gait looks completely normal.

Amanda:  Just let me know.  Better safe than sorry :(  

Me:  I'm thinking maybe I should take him :(

Amanda:  Okay, I'll be over in a few minutes :)

Me:  We are clear :)  He is able to walk on his toes :) I think he's fine :)  Yes, this was my scientific evaluation of whether or not the foot was broken.  Turns out this test works marvelously.  I was soooo right.

Amanda:  Okay.  Just let me know if  you change your mind :)  You are missing a chance to see me in my pj pants :)  Change my mind?  Why whatever do you mean?  Are you saying I'm indecisive?

Me:  I think I may be banned from the ER for a least a few months ;)  I would love to see you in your pj pants though :)  We will have to save that for tomorrow night ;)

Okay, after allll that,  I actually call Amanda.  You know, that form of communication where you  say words out loud.  Into a tel-e-phone.  The person hears you through this speaker like contraption.  Then they say words out loud too.  And you can hear their voice!  It's marvelous.  No ;) ;( :) involved.   "Can you come over?"  I whine.  I know she thinks I'm crazy.  But she comes over.  In her pajamas.  As promised.  And she's smiling :)  But she forgot her tequila :(

Grady used the emergency room bathrooms for the first time.  Ever.  He is officially potty trained.  And wants nothing to do with underwear.  He prefers, what Sean refers to as, freeballing it. If you know what I mean.  If you don't know what I mean, here is the freeballing definition, according to Urban Dictionary

Going without undershorts, said of a male, so called because his balls hang free and unencumbered. 

Sometimes, Grady will at least put on shorts over his free balls.  And sometimes, he won't.  I refer to this as free balling and extreme free balling.  You just haven't experienced life until you've visited our back yard on a summer day.  There are free balls everywhere.

Extreme freeballing

Grady is fine. No broken bones. We made it to the wedding.  Sean and I got a date night with lots of great friends.  I was free of my boys.  And their balls.  Well...I still had Sean.  He brought his along.  But he generally takes care of his own.  And covers them up in public.   I got to see Amanda in her pajamas. Again.    

Sunday afternoon, we met up with my parents to get the kids.  They had gone to That Bouncy Place.  And they got something while they were there.  Free balls :)

Free balls