all images © Meghan Boyer Photography

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

I Want to Invite the Geico Lady out to Lunch at Chick-fil-A

I wanted to bear hug, and maybe smooch just a little, the lady who helped me at Geico today.  I had a big crack, right through the middle of my windshield.  Before calling Geico, I envisioned myself dropping off the van to be repaired...for days...and walking home.  With the triple threat.  Then the idea of a rental popped into my head.  Then I remembered I have three car seats.  Finding a last minute rental vehicle for this clan and removing and reinstalling three car seats while the triple threat stand in a parking lot?  Not going to happen.  Blasted.  That's when my lover made her move.

I called Geico.  She answered.  I told her my story.  She said she was sorry that this happened but she would help me.  I love you.  She told me I'd only have to pay $100.   Let's make out.  She would make the appointment for me.  And they would come to my HOME!  AND they could be there TODAY!  I blew secret kisses to her through the phone.   And just in case you still don't get why she is so fabulous.  There would be   I was almost in tears.   I wanted to invite her to lunch at Chick-fil-A.  So we could make out.  But alas, it's not really my thing.  And I had already made my appointment to have the windshield replaced.   For the precise time of...anywhere between noon and five.  So lunch was really out of the question. 

When the glass company arrived, a very kind man emerged from the truck.  He had two ears.  But not for long.  Grady sat two feet away from him.  For an hour and a half.  The conversation Grady's monologue went like this.

We have a sqwatch in our window.  You see it?  I see the sqwatch.  Maybe bigfoot hit it with a rock.  You gonna fix our van?  I like our van. You like our van?  Those are my friends.  You like my friends?  I like your truck.  What's that?  Oh, your water?  You like water?  Oh, you hot?  I like water when I'm hot too.  Man!  Man!  What's in your truck?  Can I get in your truck?  You lock it?  Where you put your keys?  Can I look in there?  Can I get in my van when you're done?  I gonna get in the driver's seat.  My mom won't care.  I gonna sneak in.  Can I have the keys for a sec?  Man, what you doing?  You like ice cream?  I like ice cream.  Hey, man!  Hey, man!

I finally made Grady come inside for a few minutes.  He banged on the front glass door and waved at the man.  I don't think he could hear him anymore.  Because when I looked up, his ears were missing.

I took Grady back outside so we could pay the earless man.  Grady told me he wanted to give him a hug and kiss.  I think this was toddler speak for, I want to take him to dinner at Chick-fil-A.

Hey man!  You.  Me.  Dinner.  Chick-fil-A?

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