The Mall

When Lillian was a baby, the two of us would stroll the mall for hours.  Walking.  Looking.  At people.  At window displays.  Stopping to nurse in dressing rooms.  Trying on clothes.  I didn't buy anything.   Not even lunch.  I would pack a turkey sandwich and eat it while we rambled.  I didn't buy coffee.  I wasn't a coffee drinker at the time.  I couldn't grasp the fascination of coffee.   I didn't like hot drinks.  Until Lillian was two.  And we were still calculating Grady's age by months.  And I got knocked up with Dempsey.  Then I started drinking coffee.  While I was nursing.   And pregnant.  Sounds about right. 

Fast forward four plus years.  And two additional kids later.  The mall sucks.  And the kids love it.  Of course they would.

Santa Claus is there.  And the Easter Bunny.  There is a playground.  Chick-fil-a.  Ice cream.  Candy kiosks.  Water fountains.  Penny fountains.  Naked mannequins.  That they like to molest.  While calling her 'mommy'.  Oh, and there's open space.  To run.

Did I mention they like to run?  Head first into trash cans.  They shoulder bump with the shoes.  Displayed atop large blocks.   That fall over easily.  When you run into them. Just sayin'.  Because I know.  They hide amongst the clothing racks.  Grady makes faces at the Easter Bunny.  From afar.  I'm pretty sure that furry white guy still saw him.

That Easter Bunny is going to kick Grady's ass. With his big, fat, fluffy feet.  While Grady sleeps.  On Easter Eve. 

I'm going to leave directions to Grady's room.  At the front door.  Just so he won't be confused.  And I'm pretty sure that bunny will leave him something wrapped in shiny foil.  But it won't be chocolate.  It will be poop.

The worst part?  He was wearing a rosary.  Grady.  Not the Easter Bunny.  The one Father Jeff gave him at preschool that morning.  Doesn't work Father Jeff.  Just thought you should  know.  For future reference.

They like to perform.  On stage.  In the food court.  They're free.  Just in case.  Just in case you may be hiring dinner time entertainment.  Or know someone that is.  They do breakfast too.  The butt shakes are extra.  That will cost you an ice cream cone.

I need a drink.  And it isn't coffee.